Voting for Dummies

Every couple of months, Geraldine Ferraro puts down her laundry basket long enough to comment on the political landscape of this country. Frankly, I wait for these moments with great anticipation. Given the current WGA stalemate, Miss Gerry may be our only outlet for comedy moving forward.

Out she came this week, perhaps because she's currently playing dummy in her weekly bridge game. And she's chiding America for taking such a long time elect a woman as President. After all, so says this AARP version of Carmella Soprano, all the other big countries have already had a woman in power. England. Israel. Etc., etc.. Blah, blah, blah.

Ms. Ferraro, let me give you a peek into the mind of one average American voter, albeit one with a brain. Me. And I can tell you that I don't vote by gender, race, ethnicity, or religion.

When you and Fritzie Mondale ran that abortion of a campaign in 1984, my reasons for pulling the opposing lever in the voting booth had nothing to do with the fact that you were a woman who would be one breath away from the Oval Office. It had everything to do with the fact that your husband had business relationships that made Tony Soprano's operations look like the Magic Kingdom. Couple that with Mondale's lackluster record as a Senator and you wind up with a temporary Reagan fan.

And, if I opt to not vote for Hillary Clinton, it won't be because she's a woman. It will be all about her limited experience as Senator as well as the fact that she pretty much has snookered the public into believing she was the poor downtrodden wife who has made great sacrifices to forgive her philandering husband.

The reason I'm not voting for BooBoo Obama has nothing to do with the fact that he's Black, but everything to do with his past as a Harvard-educated lawyer who majored in Spin 101. He has spun a web of lies regarding his past accomplishments that would make Spiderman envious.

And the reason why I'm not looking at Mitt Romney has nothing to do with the fact that he's a Mormon, but everything to do with the fact that his presence in the Oval Office might give the right wing zealots one more chance to introduce religion into all our lives. Worship is a personal choice, not a governmental dictate.

And I'm not crazy with Rudy Guiliani not because he's divorced or Italian or Catholic or a Yankee fan or somebody who can't utter a sentence that doesn't contain a reference to 9/11. No, I'm not enamored with Rudy because I am thinking about all the intense levels of censorship that he imposed as Mayor of New York.

No, Miss Gerry, I plan to vote for the most qualified person around. If Dianne Feinstein or Barbara Boxer suddenly mount a Presidential campaign, I will vote for a woman. If a solid and longtime African-American politician runs, I could vote for him...or her. I would vote for a Catholic or a Jew or an antheist if they were the right person for the job. If they relax the requirements, I would gladly vote for Arnold, not because it's high time we had an Austrian as President, but because he has demonstrated very daring viewpoints of moderation as Governor of California.

So, Ms. Ferraro, I would happily pull the lever for anybody who displays the right qualifications to lead this country. My only caveat is that the person not be mediocre.

So, at this very moment, I guess that means I'm not voting in 2008.

Two, no trump, pass.

Dinner last night: pasta with sausage and broccoli rabe at Basso 76 in NY.