211: PUBLIUS SEPTIMIUS GETA, CO-EMPEROR OF ROME, IS LURED TO COME WITHOUT HIS BODYGUARDS TO MEET HIS BROTHER TO DISCUSS A POSSIBLE RECONCILIATION. WHEN HE ARRIVES, THE PRAETORIAN GUARD MURDERS HIM AND HE DIES IN THE ARMS OF HIS MOTHER JULIA DOMNA.
That's one Italian mouthful.
324: LICINIUS ABDICATES HIS POSITION AS ROMAN EMPEROR.
After what happened to Publius Septimius Geta, can you blame him?
1154: HENRY II OF ENGLAND IS CROWNED AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY.
Only six more Henrys before the really interesting one goes on the throne.
1490: ANNE, DUCHESS OF BRITTANY, IS MARRIED TO MAXIMILIAN I, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR BY PROXY.
When does this Roman Emperor shit go away?
1606: THREE SHIPS DEPART ENGLAND CARRYING SETTLES WHO FOUND, AT JAMESTOWN, VIRGINIA, THE FIRST OF THE THIRTEEN COLONIES THAT BECAME THE UNITED STATES.
And so it begins...
1776: THOMAS PAINE PUBLISHES ONE OF A SERIES OF PAMPHLETS TITLED THE "AMERICAN CRISIS."
Probably still applicable today.
1777: GEORGE WASHINGTON'S CONTINENTAL ARMY GOES INTO WINTER QUARTERS AT VALLEY FORGE, PENNSYLVANIA.
Years later, they could have ditched this for a stay at Brown's in the Poconos.
1843: CHARLES DICKENS "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" GOES ON SALE.
You could pre-order on Amazon.
1899: MARTIN LUTHER KING SR. IS BORN.
Outlived his son by sixteen years.
1907: A GROUP OF 239 COAL MINERS DIE DURING AN EXPLOSION IN JACOBS CREEK, PENNSYLVANIA.
Right before Christmas. No coal for anybody's stockings.
1915: SINGER EDITH PIAF IS BORN.
Je n'regrete rien. Or whatever she sang.
1920: TV PRODUCER DAVID SUSSKIND IS BORN.
His appearance on TV every Sunday night saddened me. It meant it was back to school the next day.
1924: COMEDIAN GARY MORTON IS BORN.
Mr. Lucille Ball.
1925: SONGWRITER ROBERT SHERMAN IS BORN.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Please check my spelling.
1933: ACTRESS CICELY TYSON IS BORN.
Now is the first casting call whenever anybody needs an old Black woman.
1934: BASEBALL STAR AL KALINE IS BORN.
Put a Tiger in your tank.
1941: ADOLF HITLER BECOMES SUPREME COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE GERMAN ARMY.
Because being a mass murderer of a whole ethnicity is just not enough.
1944: ACTOR TIM REID IS BORN.
Venus Flytrap!!
1956: IRISH PHYSICIAN JOHN BODKIN ADAMS IS ARRESTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE SUSPICIOUS DEATHS OF MORE THAN 160 PATIENTS.
That has to be one huge malpractice suit.
1960: ACTOR MIKE LOOKINLAND IS BORN.
"Oh, Alice...."
1972: THE LAST MANNED LUNAR FLIGHT, APOLLO 17, CREWED BY EUGENE CERNAN, RON EVANS AND HARRISON SCHMITT, RETURNS TO EARTH.
Sorry to see they ended the program on an odd number.
1986: MIKHAIL GORBACHEV, LEADER OF THE SOVIET UNION, RELEASES ANDREI SAKHAROV AND HIS WIFE FROM EXILE IN GORKY.
They had parked in Gorky.
1996: ACTOR MARCELLO MASTROIANNI DIES.
Death, Italian Style.
1998: THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES FORWARDS ARTICLES I AND III OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON TO THE SENATE.
Yeah, we know, Bill. You didn't do it.
2000: NY MAYOR JOHN LINDSAY DIES.
Queens streets, still not plowed.
2003: ACTRESS HOPE LANGE DIES.
I just ran the same gag on her birthday, but it still works. The Ghost is Mrs. Muir.
2008: BASEBALL PITCHER DOCK ELLIS DIES.
Really docked now.
Dinner last night: Chicken cordon bleu.
1 comment:
Gary Morton, crook. Bad rug.
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