It's been weeks since I saw a first run movie at the local cinema. With the crap that is coming out these days, I would much prefer seeing a classic film (like the one to the right) than some piece of junk in the neighborhood 27-plex. Shine A Light: Martin Scorsese continues his trend of filming concert performances of famous rock acts. This time, he tackles the Rolling Stones. Given their mutual ethnic heritage, I'm a little confused why Marty has, up to this point, avoided a similar take on the DeFranco Family. My Brother Is An Only Child: Is this about George Bush? Run, Fat Boy, Run: Away from this film, Spunky, away from this film. Chapter 27: A fictional look at Mark David Chapman, the killer of John Lennon. If they are taking some literary license, how about getting Yoko with the second shot? Bra Boys: A documentary about an Australian surf tribe. Wardrobe supplied by Jane Russell. 88 Minutes: Al Pacino plays the same part he has done in every single movie since he played that blind guy. Whoo Ah! A thriller told in real time. At least you know exactly how much time you'll be wasting before you even buy your ticket. Where In the World is Osama Bin Laden?: The same knucklehead who did that McDonald's expose goes in search of the terrorist leader. The first place he should look is any Florida Marlin home game. Osama could be a season ticket holder there and nobody would notice. Zombie Strippers: Where's the ticket buyers' line, please? Stop-Loss: Ryan Phillippe as some American soldier who keeps getting sent to Iraq. And he thought marriage to Reese Witherspoon was pure hell? Dr. Suess' Horton Hears A Who: Still hanging around for the convenience of those children who were punished the entire month of March. Sex and Death 101: I swear I took this course to fulfill my theology requirement at Fordham. 21: 24 minus 3. Street Kings: More drama about LA street gangs. I can drive 3 miles to the south, roll up the windows, and watch the real thing. Leatherheads: It's either a romantic comedy starring George Clooney and Renee Zellwegger or a documentary about old Jews in Miami who forgot to buy sunscreen. The First Saturday in May: A documentary about the Kentucky Derby. Or the date every year when the Kansas City Royals are mathematically eliminated from the pennant race. My Blueberry Nights: Starring Norah Jones! America's one hit wonder becomes America's one movie wonder. The Forbidden Kingdom: Jackie Chan vs. Jet Li. And they will probably cover more important issues than the last Clinton-Obama debate. The Life Before Her Eyes: Some dreary looking chick self reflection with Uma Thurman. In five minutes, I'd be focused on the life playing out on the back of my eyelids. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day: And apparently several months. When does Miss Pettigrew take a stake to the heart??? Kiss The Bride: Two gay guys fight over Tori Spelling. I have so many jokes ping ponging around my head it's like I have ice cream brain freeze. Dinner last night: Steak and pasta salad.
But, don't let me stop you if all you have to choose from on a Saturday night is the current Hollywood fare. Here's my monthly public service to you. I flip through the weekend section of the LA Times and provide you with my gut reaction on the movies that are out there for our visual digestion. Godspeed to all of us.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Forgotten. That was easy.
Smart People: Must be set in Europe. It can't possibly be about some Americans.
Prom Night: When you remake garbage, you get more garbage. You want to talk about a horrific senior prom? Take mine. I didn't even go. It consisted of twenty Black couples going to the Apollo Theater. I wasn't even a White couple at the time.
Young At Heart: This documentary could be on my "to see" list. The trailer is fascinating. A bunch of nursing home residents singing classic rock. Unfortunately, when you see the real Mick Jagger these days, he's not that far removed from the Porcelana cream either.
The Visitor: Some guy finds illegal aliens living in his apartment building. And the drama comes from what?
The Ruins: I think this could be about any major metropolitan city in the United States. Or Paris Hilton's film career.
4 comments:
- Len,
Do you answer your phone with "Why don't you just tell me what movie you want to see?" ;-)
- Kramer
As bad as April is, what's coming in May? Speed Racer and Indiana Jones in The Kingdom of Geritol.
"WHOO AH?" Is that what Pacino was saying in "Scent of A Woman?"
I'm from the Bronx, I always thought he was calling everybody a whore.
Robert Klein--a Bronx boy--has a great old bit about being a teenager and saying so-and-so was a "who-a." Very funny.
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