332: CONSTANTINE THE GREAT ANNOUNCED FREE DISTRIBUTIONS OF FOOD TO THE CITIZENS IN CONSTANTINOPLE.
Meals on Wheels. Or, more likely, hooves.
526: JOHN 1 DIES.
Meaning there are going to be 22 more Pope Johns.
1096: FIRST CRUSADE - ABOUT 800 JEWS ARE MASSACRED IN WORMS, GERMANY.
In case you thought this was an original idea of Adolf Hitler.
1152: HENRY II OF ENGLAND MARRIES ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE.
Aquitaine always sounds like a new mineral water drink.
1499: ALONSO DE OJEDA SETS SAIL FROM CADIZ ON HIS VOYAGE TO WHAT IS NOW VENEZUELA.
Later on it was a stop for the Love Boat. Charo was in that episode.
1565: THE ROYAL AUDIENCIA OF CONCEPCION IS CREATED BY A DECREE OF PHILIP II OF SPAIN.
Done before a live studio audiencia.
1631: JOHN WINTHROP TAKES THE OATH OF OFFICE AND BECOMES THE FIRST GOVERNOR OF MASSACHUSETTS.
Because somebody had to.
1652: RHODE ISLAND PASSES THE FIRST LAW IN NORTH AMERICA MAKING SLAVERY ILLEGAL.
The littlest state will lead.
1756: THE SEVEN YEARS' WAR BEGINS WHEN GREAT BRITAIN DECLARES WAR ON FRANCE.
Gee, these countries have never loved each other, have they?
1763: FIRE DESTROYS A LARGE PART OF MONTREAL.
Mon Dieu!
1804: NAPOLEON BONAPARTE IS PROCLAIMED EMPEROR OF THE FRENCH BY THE FRENCH SENATE.
Mon Dieu, the Sequel.
1860: ABRAHAM LINCOLN WINS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION OVER WILLIAM H,. SEWARD.
I wonder if this was a brokered convention.
1896: THE US SUPREME COURT RULES IN PLESSY V. FERGUSON THAT THE "SEPARATE BUT EQUAL" DOCTRINE IS CONSTITUTIONAL.
Back when the US Supreme Court was impartial.
1897: DIRECTOR FRANK CAPRA IS BORN.
Beginning a wonderful life.
1902: COMPOSER MEREDITH WILLSON IS BORN.
The man responsible for my favorite musical, "The Music Man."
1904: POLITICIAN JACOB JAVITS IS BORN.
He was once a colonel. Who knew?
1910: THE EARTH PASSES THROUGH THE TAIL OF COMET HAILEY.
That had to hurt.
1912: SINGER PERRY COMO IS BORN.
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
1917: WORLD WAR I - THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ACT OF 1917 IS PASSED, GIVING THE PRESIDENT OF THE US THE POWER OF CONSCRIPTION.
Isn't this about the time Woodrow Wilson had a stroke in office?
1920: POPE JOHN PAUL II IS BORN.
Habeas baby.
1922: ACTOR BILL MACY IS BORN.
Maude!
1924: ACTRESS PRISCILLA POINTER IS BORN.
Mother of Pam and Cliff Barnes on TV. Mother of Amy Irving in real life.
1926: EVANGELIST AIMEE SEMPLE MCPHERSON DISAPPEARS WHILE VISITING A CALIFORNIA BEACH.
Okay, who buried the preacher in the sand?
1928: ACTOR PERNELL ROBERTS IS BORN.
Adam Cartwright! Trapper John, MD!!
1931: ACTOR ROBERT MORSE IS BORN.
How To Slide Down a Birth Canal Without Really Trying.
1933: NEW DEAL - PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT SIGNS AN ACT CREATING THE TENNESSEE VALLEY AUTHORITY.
Never became a song like "Harper Valley PTA."
1934: ACTOR DWAYNE HICKMAN IS BORN.
Happy birthday to Dobie Gillis, not Maynard G. Krebs.
1953: JACKIE COCHRAN BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER.
Too many jokes to choose just one.
1969: APOLLO 10 IS LAUNCHED.
The one in two months will be the big deal.
1980: MOUNT ST. HELENS ERUPTS IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON, KILLING 57 PEOPLE.
Boy, that's hot.
1981: ACTOR ARTHUR O'CONNELL DIES.
Great character actor.
1990: ACTRESS JILL IRELAND DIES.
Mrs. Charles Bronson.
1992: ACTOR MARSHALL THOMPSON DIES.
Daktari!
1995: ACTRESS ELIZABETH MONTGOMERY DIES.
Wiggle your nose now.
2014: SINGER JERRY VALE DIES.
Pass the meatballs.
Dinner last night: Leftover tortellini.
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