Dial Flipping

The weekly TV scorecard:

American Idol:

It's really, really hard to make fun of something when it is dedicated to relieving starvation all over the world. This is the "Idol Gives Back" week and the remaining six finalists all sang songs of hope and inspiration. If you're one of the judges, how the heck do you tell somebody their song choice this week sucqued? It's the reason why, after 364 days of avoiding the guy every year, you can't hate Jerry Lewis on Labor Day.

There were way too many phone numbers flashing across the screen last night. And, tonight, I expect to be lots of donations on the crawl below. It will be like the Chabad telethon, except that most of the amounts will be rounded up to the next dollars. You won't see "Lou Goldstein, Tarzana, $123.56."

From what I am hearing and reading from folks who actually attend Idol telecasts in person, the performances sound a lot different in the studio. I thought Blake Lewis' rendition of "Imagine" was pretty darn good. But, the judges thought less so.

I am sorry to say. I now miss Sanjaya. Last night, we didn't have the comedic anticipation we have come to enjoy in recent weeks. There was a letdown. Like when Shemp replaced Curly. Or worse....when Curly Joe DeRita replaced Shemp.

I would have liked to see how Simon Cowell actually got downtown in LA to that food mission. There's not a lot of street parking for limos.

It was interesting to see that Simon and Ryan went to Africa. Randy went to Katrina-torn Louisiana. Paula got as far as a mobile health clinic in Van Nuys.

I still think this competition will be neck-and-neck between Melinda and Jordin. But, I have a feeling that the latter is now the one to beat.

How are they going to do two hours devoted to world hunger with Lakisha sitting right there?

24:

Jack Bauer probably can't wait for this year's day to end. And neither can I. For the first time, I am saying that the show has missed some creative steps this season. I can't put my finger on it. It just doesn't feel right. But they did blow up Valencia, California, so I have to be appreciative of some plot points.

The President has been in and out of a coma twice in one day. Once again, insert Bush joke here.

Larry King:

I ran into this last night. Larry always has his finger on the pulse of America. He dedicated his show to Alec Baldwin. He replayed an interview from last November, where Alec bemoans all the nasty legal barbs he endured from his ex-wife's attorneys. He presented himself as being totally innocent in their marital issues. First of all, fathead, no one is completely blameless in a divorce. But Alec is. He's one of those people we all have in our lives. It's never their fault. It always has to be somebody else's fault.

Larry had one of Alec's brothers live in the studio. I forget which one. The only way you can tell them apart is by their varying police records. Anyway, when Larry pressed him for a reaction to Alec's loving voice mail to his daughter, the brother begged off from responding. "Do you want Alec to kick my ass?" Your honor, the prosecution rests.

Larry looked particularly grumpy. He might have had too much lettuce for dinner. Or he's still smarting over the fact that CNN postponed that week-long tribute to him because of that inconveniently-timed Virginia Tech massacre.

High Definition Local News:

The CBS affiliates here in LA converted to HD this week. This required completely new studios for the local news. Granted I don't have a high-def set yet, but I have to tell you that the screen was so bright, my retinas were probably damaged. The anchorpeople looked like characters on The Simpsons. But, I guess it's really important to see Pacoima's local temperatures in the most technologically advanced way possible.

Rosie O'Donnell:

It was announced this morning that she is leaving the View. Totally spun as being her decision. But, I think not. I know I pledged to be go on a low-Rosie diet, but I have been sneaking looks at her website from time to time. Yesterday's entry had to make its way around ABC top brass, and they finally realized they are harboring a maniac in their studios. It was a video of her sitting in the back of her town car on her way to work. No make-up. Her hair was a mess. And she babbled on for ten minutes about absolutely nothing. The incoherent ramblings of a woman waiting for the medication cart at the asylum. It is amazing to watch. I can't copy it and post it here, because several of the many voices in her head probably told her to make that impossible to do on her website. But, go to rosie.com and look under the entry for "barbra's birthday."

Dinner last night: Chili's sirloin with mushroom.