363: ROMAN EMPEROR JULIAN DEFEATS THE SASSANID ARMY IN THE BATTLE OF CTESIPHON, BUT IS UNABLE TO TAKE THE CITY.
Take the city? I'll bet they can't even pronounce it.
1167: A ROMAN ARMY SUPPORTING POPE ALEXANDER III IS DEFEATED BY CHRISTIAN OF BUCH AND RAINALD OF DASSEL.
And Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills.
1414: COUNCIL OF CONSTANCE.
Constance who? Towers? Ford? McCashin? History needs to be more explicit.
1453: OTTOMAN ARMIES UNDER SUITAN MEHMED II FATIH CAPTURES CONSTANTINOPLE AFTER A 53-DAY SIEGE, ENDING THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE.
I'm sure that fact was on a World History quiz that I failed.
1660: CHARLES II IS RESTORED TO THE THRONE OF ENGLAND, SCOTLAND AND IRELAND.
With a new crown and a fresh coat of paint.
1727: PETER II BECOMES TSAR OF RUSSIA.
Tstupendous.
1790: RHODE ISLAND BECOMES THE LAST OF THE ORIGINAL US COLONIES TO RATIFY THE CONSTITUTION AND IS ADMITTED AS THE 13TH STATE.
How else can people from Connecticut get to Boston?
1848: WISCONSIN IS ADMITTED AS THE 30TH STATE.
Do we have to take in all those Cheeseheads?
1852: JENNY LIND LEFT NEW YORK AFTER HER WILDLY SUCCESSFUL TWO-YEAR AMERICAN TOUR.
The Justin Bieber of the 19th Century.
1861: THE HONG KONG CHAMBER OF COMMERCE IS FOUNDED IN HONG KONG.
Clever how they came up with that name.
1886: CHEMIST JOHN PEMBERTON PLACES HIS FIRST AD FOR COCA COLA IN THE ATLANTA JOURNAL.
I'd like to teach the world to drink.
1903: COMEDIAN BOB HOPE IS BORN.
But I wanna tell ya. Keep reading for a very fun historical fact that I never knew until I started writing up this date.
1913: IGOR STRAVINSKY'S BALLET "THE RITE OF SPRING" RECEIVES ITS PREMIERE PERFORMANCE IN PARIS, PROVOKING A RIOT.
What? The tulips got upset??
1917: PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY IS BORN.
And here it is, gang. Who ever knew that Kennedy and Hope had the same birthday? And both of them slept with actresses named Marilyn.
1919: ALBERT EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF GENERAL RELATIVITY IS CONFIRMED.
I didn't even know it was Catholic.
1931: MICHELE SCHIRRU, A US CITIZEN, IS EXECUTED BY AN ITALIAN MILITARY FIRING SQUAD FOR INTENT TO KILL MUSSOLINI.
Had she lived and married astronaut Wally Schirra, she would have been Michele Schirru Schirra.
1938: FORMER BASEBALL COMMISSIONER FAY VINCENT IS BORN.
You think his folks wanted a girl?
1942: ACTOR JOHN BARRYMORE DIES.
And a few of his actors cart his body to saloons all over Los Angeles. A true story.
1942: BING CROSBY RECORDS IRVING BERLIN'S SONG "WHITE CHRISTMAS."
Great idea. With it being May 29 and all.
1947: ACTOR ANTHONY GEARY IS BORN.
He's been on General Hospital longer than some people have been alive.
1951: ACTRESS FANNY BRICE DIES.
Funny girl. Even funnier face.
1953: EDMUND HILLARY AND SHERPA TENZING NORGAY BECOME THE FIRST PEOPLE TO REACH THE SUMMIT OF MOUNT EVEREST.
Something tells me Hillary made the sherpa go first. Just to check the footing.
1955: ASSASSIN JOHN HINCKLEY JR. IS BORN.
You talkin' to me?
1958: ACTRESS ANNETTE BENING IS BORN.
The future Mrs. Warren Beatty.
1972: BASEBALL PLAYER/SPY MOE BERG DIES.
I like that occupation mix. I wonder if that's what he wrote on his income tax returns.
1973: TOM BRADLEY IS ELECTED THE FIRST BLACK MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.
And I believe the last.
1979: ACTRESS MARY PICKFORD DIES.
How are those curls working out for you now?
1988: US PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN BEGINS HIS FIRST VISIT TO THE SOVIET UNION WHEN HE ARRIVES FOR A SUMMIT WITH MIKHAIL GORBACHEV.
Mr. Gorbachev, your wall is toast.
1990: THE RUSSIAN PARLIAMENT ELECTS BORIS YELTSIN PRESIDENT OF THE RUSSIAN SFSR.
I really wish Mrs. Yeltsin's first name was Natasha.
21997: TV ANNOUNCER GEORGE FENNEMAN DIES.
You bet your death.
1998: POLITICIAN BARRY GOLDWATER DIES.
Misunderstood.
2001: THE US SUPREME COURT RULES THAT DISABLED GOLFER CASEY MARTIN CAN USE A CART TO RIDE IN TOURNAMENTS.
Good. Otherwise, he's still on the first hole.
2004: LAWYER ARCHIBALD COX DIES.
The only good lawyer is....well, you know.
2008: ACTOR HARVEY KORMAN DIES.
I once lit his candle at a Christmas Eve church service.
2010: ACTOR DENNIS HOPPER DIES.
I never lit his candle. Ever.
Dinner last night: Super Dodger Dog at the game.
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