413: EMPEROR HONORIUS SIGNS AN EDICT PROVIDING TAX RELIEF FOR THE ITALIAN PROVINCES CAMPANIA, TUSCIA, PICENUM, SAMNIUM, APULIA, LUCANIA, AND CALABRIA, WHO WERE PLUNDERED BY THE VISIGOTHS.
One of those historical dates which just tests my typing ability.
1541: HERNANDO DE SOTO REACHES THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER AND NAMES IT RIO DE ESPIRITU SANTO.
Why didn't he just call it his hideaway?
1794: BRANDED A TRAITOR DURING THE REIGN OF TERROR BY REVOLUTIONISTS, FRENCH CHEMIST ANTOINE LAVOISIER, WHO WAS ALSO A TAX COLLECTOR WITH THE FERME GENERALE, IS TRIED, CONVICTED, AND GUILLOTINED ALL ON THE SAME DAY IN PARIS.
That's what happens when you don't have to go through the trouble of finding a jury?
1842: A TRAIN DERAILS AND CATCHES FIRE IN PARIS, KILLING BETWEEN 52 AND 200 PEOPLE.
So that's 148 folks who may or may not be dead.
1847: COMPOSER OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN IS BORN.
Bali Hi'ya.
1884: PRESIDENT HARRY TRUMAN IS BORN.
My grandmother hated him. Said he was "fresh."
1895: BISHOP FULTON J. SHEEN IS BORN.
Mrs. Fulton's folly.
1861: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, RICHMOND, VIRGINIA IS NAMED THE CAPITAL OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA.
Enjoy the honor, Richmond....for the next four years.
1877: IN NEW YORK CITY, THE FIRST WESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB DOG SHOW OPENS.
Watch where you step.
1886: PHARMACISTS JOHN PEMBERTON FIRST SELLS A CARBONATED BEVERAGE NAMED "COCA COLA" AS A PATENT MEDICINE.
Do not exceed past four liters a day.
1898: THE FIRST GAMES OF THE ITALIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE SYSTEM ARE PLAYED.
Corleones, 21, Barzinis 15.
1902: IN MARTINIQUE, MOUNT PELEE ERUPTS, DESTROYING THE TOWN OF SAINT PIERRE AND KILLING OVER 30,000 PEOPLE.
Or between 52 and 30,000 people.
1912: PARAMOUNT PICTURES IS FOUNDED.
Who put all that snow on the mountain?
1913: ANIMATOR BOB CLAMPETT IS BORN.
Beany and Cecil!!!
1919: EDWARD GEORGE HONEY FIRST PROPOSES THE IDEA OF A MOMENT OF SILENCE TO COMMEMORATE THE ARMISTICE OF WORLD WAR I. THIS INDIRECTLY RESULTS IN THE INSTITUTION OF VETERANS DAY.
Hi, Honey, be quiet.
1926: COMEDIAN DON RICKLES IS BORN.
In his day, he was one of the best.
1929: ACTRESS MIYOSHI UMEKI IS BORN.
Mr. Eddie's father's housekeeper. Or something like that.
1932: BOXER SONNY LISTON IS BORN.
The Cassius Clay opponent who did not invent his own grill.
1933: MOHANDAS GANDHI BEGINS A 21-DAY FAST IN PROTEST AGAINST BRITISH RULE IN INDIA.
As if there's anything to eat in that garbage can of a country.
1940: AUTHOR PETER BENCHLEY IS BORN.
Swimming prohibited.
1940: SINGER RICKY NELSON IS BORN.
Harriet, please rest after that long labor.
1940: SINGER TONI TENNILLE IS BORN.
Aye, aye, Captain.
1941: THE GERMAN LUFTWAFFE LAUNCH A BOMBING RAID ON NOTTINGHAM AND DERBY.
What season do we get to see this on Downton Abbey?
1945: V-E DAY. COMBAT ENDS IN EUROPE AS GERMAN FORCES SURRENDER.
So is this the day where that sailor and that chick got it on in Times Square?
1945: END OF THE PRAGUE UPRISING IN THE CZECH REPUBLIC.
So it's also V-P Day.
1948: BURMESE POLITICIAN U SAW DIES.
Include simply because of the bizarre nature of that name.
1963: SOUTH VIETNAMESE SOLDIERS OPEN FIRE ON BUDDHISTS.
Well, that chanting can get a little annoying.
1967: SINGER LAVERNE ANDREWS DIES.
The first Andrews Sister to go. The last just croaked a few months ago.
1970: THE HARD HAT RIOT OCCURS ON WALL STREET AS BLUE COLLAR WORKERS CLASH WITH VIETNAM WAR PROTESTERS.
Later served as the pilot for All in the Family.
1972: US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES HIS ORDER TO PLACE MINES IN MAJOR NORTH VIETNAMESE PORTS.
As if anything decent is being imported or exported from that cesspool of a country.
1976: THE ROLLERCOAST REVOLUTION, THE FIRST STEEL COASTER WITH A VERTICAL LOOP, OPENS AT SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN.
You go upside down? I'll never go on it.
1980: THE ERADICATION OF SMALLPOX IS ENDORSED BY THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION.
When do they start on bigpox?
1984: THE SOVIET UNION ANNOUNCES IT WILL BOYCOTT THE 1984 SUMMER OLYMPICS IN LOS ANGELES.
They missed a helluva show.
1988: A FIRE AT ILLINOIS BELL TRIGGERS THE WORST TELECOMMUNICATIONS DISASTER IN US TELEPHONE HISTORY AND THE WORST TO OCCUR ON MOTHER'S DAY.
And they wondered why those damn kids never called.
1994: ACTOR GEORGE PEPPARD DIES.
Now on the D-Team.
1998: BANKER BEBE REBOZO DIES.
With a name like that, he's better off.
1999: ACTRESS DANA PLATO DIES.
Now the cause of death was not a different kind of stroke.
2008: SINGER EDDY ARNOLD DIES.
He used to sing "Make the World Go Away." Well, Eddy, wish granted.
2009: BASEBALL PLAYER DOM DIMAGGIO DIES.
Marilyn's brother-in-law.
Dinner last night: Spaghetti with meat sauce.
1 comment:
All hail Rickles.
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