Hell No, Wednesday Won't Go!

They're not on the job. But, I am...

---Yesterday, I honked my support to the picketing writers as I drove past Fox on the way home.

---Funny how I will do that but I won't acknowledge the protesters who are always outside the Federal Building.

---That's because I could care less about abuses being done in countries where the flies are bigger than the food on your plate.

---Usually, when I drive past those demonstrations, I always point.

---Upward.

---If you want to make a difference in your homeland country, can I suggest you fly back there?

---With a one-way ticket.

---How long does the Writers strike have to go before they will cancel "Caveman?"

---Lots of residual effect from the strike, no pun intended.

---Does anybody realize how many 75 inch plasma TVs will go unsold this Christmas?

---Actors won't cross the picket lines. That's because the writers didn't put it in the stage directions.

---The producers are making money hand over fist with internet downloads, DVDs, etc. and won't share it.

---I'm betting Mercedes and Jaguar dealers are sweating this out.

---They're not writing, but wait till you see how many unsolicited screenplays start turning up all over town as soon as this thing is over.

---But, there is good news. SNL writers are on strike, too.

---Actually, I think that's been the case since 1988.

---I watched about five minutes of SNL last weekend. It was like receiving a cortisone needle to the brain. Brian Williams was the host and lost all journalistic credibility in my book.

---It was as if they asked Preppie Killer Robert Chambers to lecture at Sarah Lawrence.

---While the SNL writers are out on the picket line, they should watch PBS' documentary on Carol Burnett.

---Now that was how you wrote sketch comedy.

---Of course, they dragged out Barack Obama who came out wearing a Barack Obama mask. Which is fitting because nobody knows who the real Obama is.

---I am mystified how much they rely on cue cards on that show. Nobody makes eye contact. They're all looking offstage for their next line.

---It's bad enough our President does that.

---Once again, everybody needs to watch Carol Burnett.

---So now, they're coming out with more baseball names who have taken steroids. It's funny because all these knuckleheads suddenly conjure up some rare medical conditions that required them to take these drugs.

---But, how come they didn't get their prescriptions from a doctor? Everybody is seeing this Florida dentist.

---I go to the dentist three times a year and all I get is a tube of Prevident.

---Maybe that's a performance enhancer? I'll have to see if I can catch a 95 MPH fastball in my mouth.

---I know that, after I get my teeth cleaned, I don't walk out twenty pounds heavier.

---I watched the Joe Torre press conference the other day. It was pure pomp and circumstance as Joe, his wife, the McCourts, and Vin Scully marched to the centerfield podium.

---The only things missing were a casket and some bagpipes.

---Compared to the screwballs in NY, managing the LA media will be a breeze for Joe.

---Except for those two Asian broads who kept asking him what he thought about his Japanese and Chinese players.

---Airlift, please.

---In the future, Joe should ignore them unless they're there to give his wife a pedicure.

---And what was that reporter from National Public Radio doing there?

---"So, Joe, what's your opinion of socialized medicine in Bosnia?"

Dinner last night: Chicken-apple sausage with red cabbage.